As working mothers, we often feel like we need to prove ourselves twice as hard.
We say yes to the extra project. Yes to the late meeting. Yes to the weekend work. We bend over backwards to show that motherhood hasn't diminished our commitment or capability.
But here's what I've learned: Saying yes to everything often means saying no to the things that matter most—including your own sustainability and, ironically, your career growth.
The Yes Trap
When we say yes to everything, we:
- Spread ourselves too thin to excel at anything
- Burn out faster
- Take on work that doesn't align with our goals
- Signal that our time isn't valuable
- Have no bandwidth for unexpected opportunities
The most successful leaders I know are ruthless about protecting their time and energy. They say no—a lot.
Why It's Harder for Working Moms
Let's be honest: The stakes feel higher for us.
- We worry about being seen as "not committed" because we have children
- We fear being passed over for opportunities
- We feel guilty about the time we're already away from our families
- We want to prove that motherhood hasn't changed our value
But operating from this fear-based mindset is unsustainable—and ultimately counterproductive.
Reframing No as a Power Move
Saying no isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of:
- Self-awareness - You know your priorities
- Strategic thinking - You protect time for high-impact work
- Self-respect - You value your time and energy
- Leadership - You model healthy boundaries for others
The people who advance aren't usually the ones who say yes to everything. They're the ones who say yes to the right things.
How to Say No Professionally
The Direct No
"Thank you for thinking of me, but I won't be able to take that on right now."
The Redirect
"I can't commit to that, but I'd suggest asking [colleague] who has expertise in this area."
The Trade-Off
"I'd be happy to take that on. Which of my current priorities should I deprioritize to make room?"
The Delay
"I can't do that this week, but I could look at it next month if that timing works."
The Partial Yes
"I can't lead that project, but I could contribute to [specific piece]."
Boundaries That Protect Your Family Time
Some boundaries working mothers might consider:
- No meetings before school drop-off
- No work emails after 7 PM
- One day per week with no evening commitments
- Blocking calendar time for school events
- Not checking work messages during family meals
The specific boundaries are less important than having them and communicating them clearly.
When to Make Exceptions
Boundaries aren't about rigidity. Sometimes there are genuine crises or opportunities that require flexibility. The key questions:
- Is this truly exceptional, or is it becoming a pattern?
- What's the trade-off, and am I making it consciously?
- How will I recover the time and energy I'm expending?
The Career Benefits
Counter-intuitively, setting boundaries can actually accelerate your career:
- You perform better at the things you do take on
- You're seen as strategic and discerning
- You have energy for the opportunities that truly matter
- You model the behavior that creates healthy team cultures
Give Yourself Permission
You have permission to:
- Leave work at a reasonable hour
- Not respond to emails immediately
- Decline meetings that don't require your presence
- Protect time for your family and yourself
- Be a whole person, not just an employee
Your worth isn't measured by how much you sacrifice. It's measured by the value you create—and sustainable boundaries help you create more value over time.